Sunday, 15 July 2012

Something Goes Right



One day, about a week ago, I left the trio with my Mum and walked to the post office to post a parcel to America. It is not far, no more than a 2 mile round trip; I was home within 40 minutes but you know it felt like a holiday. When I arrived back home I felt totally refreshed as if it had been a fortnight package tour to Spain.


This is the hardest thing to convey about home education. The alwaysness, the constantness, the being the adult with responsibility all the time, no ladies that lunch or relaxing coffees with old friends. No "Kiss and Drop" as the car park as a nearby primary school instructs. Even I who has an uber supportive TDO, fabulous grandparents and can afford to pay for extra help here and there can be overwhelmed by the intensity of it all sometimes. My trio don't know about putting your hand up or taking your turn as number 25 in queue for the teacher's attention. I can explain to them that this is what happens out there but they are used to Mummy always there. It is so very different and, as a consequence, so are their expectations.


You see these are the days I'd often think I'd rather not blog and, last year, when I said I wouldn't lots of regular readers contacted me and said my honesty was the main thing they liked about the blog. How I wasn't afraid to say I cried. And that it gave them a realistic impression of what home education can be like.


Well, I haven't cried today, but it hasn't been easy. Mostly because of the day it wasn't. We weren't at the Little Conference where, up until recently, I had thought we might be, we weren't welcoming TDO home from a business trip to America because it was cancelled and I forgot about an LLL Board of Directors Skype call. Caught up in the in the momentness of it all.


Instead, the trap of equating a Sunday at home with relaxing fooled me again and E suffered from any lack of structure or direction in his day (he likes at least a rough idea of what might happen even if it doesn't) and his behaviour, in turn, exhausted the patience of us all. He, as I have written before, is our family barometer, reading the pressure of everyone around and providing them with a read out whether or not they require one.


That said there have been some high highs today. Watching the trio lying down at the park cloud spotting, talking doll house design with S, S discovering it is our 9th wedding anniversary next week and deciding to make us something secret in pottery from DAS, E drawing us his plans for a tree House and doing some great, spontaneous, reading. O playing contentedly with his cars in the garden for an hour, harvesting and preserving a further harvest of soft fruits ready for a winter vitamin dose.

But, as was a theme a year or more ago, it matters little when the car crash millisecond leaves you unable to forgive, forget and move on. Reading back through old blog posts I see I have come a long way, generally ahead of the game, distracting and encouraging, making peace with the fact it is not the youngest of my crew that requires the majority of my attention most of the time. The wonderful thing about building up the blog history is that I can see that. de-briefing and de-schooling has happened and the recovery time is much faster and, most important of all, there is not one single sum that would be improved with school in the equation. Family First.

 E (5) designs a tree house for the garden
 S (7) draws out the doll house she would like to make
 O (3) is really into pop up books at the moment. The great thing about being the youngest of three is that we already have a collection.

 Designing lego minifigures in real life
 and on a new app on the tablet called Cool Legos
This is a beautiful song by a man with a sublime voice but this one was a very close second


"A Tornado flew around my room..."

13 comments:

Cap'n Franko said...

I always like reading your blog.

And, BTW, between the two songs, I'd vote for "Thinkin' 'bout You" (wink)

Katie Pybus said...

They have SbTrkt in common. I really like Frank Ocean but the other title seemed more appropriate for today.

Katie Pybus said...

Thanks, as always, for your kinds btw. I am pleased you enjoy it, I like writing it too. 15 minutes of daily download and a great place to store links and resources and offload the day.

Now, to remove text enhance that is highlighting those random words with annoying advert pop ups

Big mamma frog said...

It's definitely worth posting the highs and the lows on a blog. As you say, if nothing else, it shows you how far you have come and how much you have done (even when you think you haven't).

I remember only too well how hard it was being at home with littl'uns all the time. I found those early years of HE were really tough sometimes, those moments of being desperate for just a teeny bit of headspace! Hang in there :)

coffeebooksna said...

I think it's good to blog good days and bad - an honest appraisal helps you see how far you've come. We all have bad days (says me, having spent 9 hours with TDO looking after his mum who has Alzheimers with O in-tow today has not been easy, and threw everyone off their natural rhythm, complete with over-tiredness on everyone's part!) Yet as you say there are always highlights, which make it more than worthwhile, and it keeps us parents all going knowing that we are not alone! :)

Sandra Dodd said...

I do wish you had come to the conference on Sunday, because I think it would have cheered you up and given you lots of useful ideas.

-=-E suffered from any lack of structure or direction in his day (he likes at least a rough idea of what might happen even if it doesn't)-=-

http://sandradodd.com/moment
If you blame yourself
for what you didn't provide
the day before, or in the morning,
for a whole day...
then you're not figuring out ways to respond and make decisions in the moment, and you're never anywhere else BUT in a particular moment.

Next year try to get to the LiTTLe conference!! Joyce Fetteroll will be there too, next year.

Posting bad days does help others feel like they're not alone, but it might be better to figure out how not to have so many bad days, or not to *see* them as bad days. And explaining how you learn to live more in the moment could help your other readers not need to be grateful for shared sorrow.

http://sandradodd.com/negativity

Katie Pybus said...

Yes, It would have been nice to come to the conference. It was penciled in from January til June when it was ousted by a business trip to America that then didn't happen at the 11th hour so it was all a bit of chaos really.

This is the first "bad" day for a very long time looking back over old blog posts.

Always lovely to come onto the blog and find comments - I had written today's entry before I read them so it might sound a bit disjointed.

Hope to come in 2013

Katie Pybus said...

http://sandradodd.com/parentingpeacefully#moment

If you only have time to read one of Sandra's links this one was the most useful to me.

I should have called it a bad moment

As regular readers will know this ideas and concepts come much more easily with S and O than they do with E

Fiona said...

Didn't sound "bad", but did sound hard. Was it partly to do with your initial expectation of nice conference for that particular day, replaced by expectation of nice welcome home, finally of nice relaxing Sunday...all dashed. So the day went as it went, as days go, but in your head it could've, would've, should've been something else?

And I do know what you mean about the person who senses and is hugely affected by strung-out-ness. For me it used to be T, and is now my mum.

Katie Pybus said...

You are right Fiona I should use hard not bad.

There are times when making four different meals does feel hard!

Katie Pybus said...

Hard is better though - I think it is really easy to forget the intensity of very young and very old people.

Lately I have been spending time with a few people a few years behind us ages wise - We are 7, 5 & 3 and they are 5, 3 and baby and I watch and think - How on earth do you manage that looks so hard, then I realise that was me not so long ago!!

One big change I have properly acknowledged since writing this post (& reading Sandra's links) is that it has been weeks since anyone had an afternoon sleep. Almost without my noticing both the boys have dropped their siesta which explains the ragged feeling around 4-5pm and the alwaysness I mentioned at the start of this post as this is the first time that there have been three children all day.

I agree Big Mamma Frog - until I wrote all this down I didn't realise how far I had come - when I read blog posts from last summer I can see it is a long way!

The headspace I agree too - I know I will miss the noise but just having enough time to properly process thoughts!

Been trying not to spend too and that is a trigger and usually my instinct is to say "Blow it!" of course you can have it / we can go there etc which gets you out of a lot of holes!!

You are bang on fiona - I was so busy focusing on the day it could have been I lost sight of the day it was.

In the end we went to the park after lunch which was perfect - should have just done it earlier!

No more bad days - hard moments!

Katie Pybus said...

Facilitating outside the box learning, breaking free from school imposed subject and curriculum constraints - I am all fine with all of that - It is the domestic chores I need to master!!

Sandra Dodd said...

Links on blogger comments need the html code, so
http://sandradodd.com/parentingpeacefully#moment

And for anyone who wants to know how to do that code, it's pretty simple and here are directions:

http://sandradodd.com/hotlink